


Never Enough

by Birdy07



Series: Sander sides Poetry [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Anorexia, Body Dysphoria, Eating Disorders, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insecurity, Post-Episode: Selfishness v. Selflessness, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:20:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25132282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdy07/pseuds/Birdy07
Summary: Roman realizes he will never be enough, pretty enough, good enough. So he fixes it. He fixes it all.I said I was getting Better.I said I was doing fine.But my lies just keep getting wetter,As I drown in each new line."I can help you stop it."The voices shriek and scream.they pull me in their orbit.Showing blade with shine and gleam.(Written in poetry form because I'm a depressed bitch.)
Series: Sander sides Poetry [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1820500
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Never Enough

**Author's Note:**

> TW: self harm, body dysphoria, suicidal thoughts. Not fun kids!!!

Blue eyes stare back at a broken reflection,  
They briefly scan over ever flaw and imperfection.  
Bleeding hands hit again a the mirrors faulty perception.  
The eyes beg and plead for the accuser's acceptance.

Two hands placed at hip forcing to reform,  
They pull and sculpt begging to be reborn.  
A heart sobbing out against all the scorn.

The eyes look back into the mirror, wishing it was still unbroken,  
Playing back every word that should never have been spoken.  
He sobs craving for his body to be rewoven.

Yearning for his ugly self to be corrected,  
Maybe then he'll feel even just a little less disrespected.  
He hungers for every insecurity to be disregarded,  
Wanting nothing more than for his soul to be unsharded.

He can never let himself be left alone,  
Lest every single deformity to those eyes be shown.  
He knows he's sown himself together,  
Time and time again but he's not built for strong weather.  
Because it rains and pours  
pains aches and sours  
The Prince can't seem to sever,  
Because they are tetherd. 

Not a single thought remains reclusive,  
They bang in his head painfully intrusive.  
He finds his own happiness to be so illusive.

For years he's let fragile confidence be pushed aside.  
Months he's watched all joy whither, decay, and die.  
Weeks he's done nothing but run and hide.  
Days where he stared at himself and only cried.  
He knows it's wrong, knows his brain is fried.  
But the thoughts still won't stop or even subside.

He looks at himself and sees without seeing,  
All he spots, are hideous defects and his eyes are seething,  
he takes a deep breath and breaths without breathing.  
The project of a fallen world that thieves without thieving.

The air comes too quick,  
The tears fall too thick.  
He thrust his fingers into his throat and vomits, sickeningly not sick.

He's not pretty enough  
Not witty enough  
Not gritty enough.  
He is not enough.

Hands claw again at too pale skin,  
And he screams and begs to be a little more thin.  
He runs a blade over scars on his wrist.  
He watches the blood pull as he twists an he twists,  
The blade in further "bravery" they say.  
Is it brave when all he wants is to be taken away?

**Author's Note:**

> Well you read through. If you want a sequel let me know I really enjoyed writing this. Chapter eight of I keep bleeding will be out soon....ish.


End file.
